Today, I got really angry and screamed at my father on the phone, till my voice began to be interrupted with threats of a volcanic sob, waiting to erupt. Truth is, I did not know how much I had stored up, till that very moment when he finally picked my call, after averting it for the umpteenth time. By the time I dropped the call, my heavy heart vibrated as I tried to control my emotions, because there were people around. 

I had berated in Igbo, my native language; which I badly messed up each time I tried making a meaningful statement; but this time, it was surprisingly fluent. The people around me, who noticed my countenance before and after my outburst, just gaped at me, wondering how I had suddenly switched from cool, calm and collected to wild, fulminant and unpacifiable.

Here is what happened prior to my volcanic eruption. Dad had stalled my monthly "pocket money" with the excuse of sorting out family issues. I had been calm and even blessed him in my long-suffering. Meanwhile, I had to patch things up here and there, to make ends meet. I scrapped a number of my needs and sacrificed one for the other, because I  was financially constrained. I endured gently, as always: like the most patient and most understanding  of his three kids.

Just then, the month ended and the money overlapped till I was due to receive another for the month. The strain was in my eyes and with every muscle I flexed. Drinking garri to bed after several arduous moments of  pondering on what to eat had become my nightly task. Besides that, my unhealthy eating was becoming to take a toll on me. 

The last straw that broke the camel s back was when I had to queue in the sun for over four hours, on a stomach that barely made it through the bread and groundnut I had stuffed into it. It was my final year clearance and the officials were giving us a hard time. I had squirmed, sighed, hissed, moaned, groaned and thrown fiery darts at "queue trespassers" with my bloodshot eyes, under the brutal glare of the sun. Already I could feel my complexion ebbing  out, with every drop of sweat, the fiery climate squeezed from my tired body. 

To think that, we did not get to have our clearance form signed after the drudgery we had to go through, under the immense heat, compounded my distress. But the little miracle that I whispered "thank you" to the Holy Spirit for, was when the officials changed their minds from dismissing us: meaning we had to go through the whole torture the next morning, to collecting our form, with the promise of releasing it, properly signed, the next morning.

I rose from my hunkered position and dragged my fatigued limbs to a shade, where I could talk to my dad. This was the point he began terminating my calls. Oh how I exploded when he finally picked—so much so that I shocked even myself. I remember telling myself that I had not gone into such pensive mood in like a long time. But in all of it, after I had simmered down, the Holy Spirit came and His words were “you have been strong up till now, do not crumble now.” Oh those words were a soothing balm. It was the way he chided me, reminding me to apologise to my bewildered dad after. 

It turned out that I got angry and acted on the impulse to empty my grieved heart, albeit, in the most "ungenteelly manner", thus breaking one of the love code and consequently, crushing a major fruit of the Spirit: gentleness. But my tender conscience, which I had groomed overtime with the Word and Spirit, checked me and that was it. I repented, making a mental note to apologise to my dad, even though he had already sent me some cash, with his loving "mabinu".  

How beautiful life is, with the little lessons we get to learn from the seemingly trifle experiences that build our character. Now I understand what Paul meant when he said in Romans 5:3-5

We can rejoice, too, when we run into PROBLEMS and TRIALS, for we know that they are good for us--they help us learn to ENDURE. And ENDURANCE DEVELOPS STRENGTH OF CHARACTER in us, and CHARACTER STRENGTHENS OUR CONFIDENT EXPECTATION OF SALVATION. And THIS EXPECTATION WILL NOT DISAPPOINT US. For we know HOW DEARLY GOD LOVES US, because HE HAS GIVEN US THE HOLY SPIRIT to FILL OUR HEARTS WITH HIS LOVE. (NLT)

ABOUT WRITER

Ifunaya Mary Nwachukwu is a Graduate of English Language, from the university of Ilorin, a singer, a Writer, a Public speaker  and Sound Believer of God.

 Her Articles Captures the Essence of her faith and her belief, both as an African woman and a Child of God.

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