I’m going off the market and somehow I’ve got mixed feelings.

Before now, I’ve never imagined that finally getting off the shelf would make me feel so emosh like I’ve been feeling these days.

I mean, imagine being a tin tomato sitting in the corner of Iya Bisi’s shelf for years, such that customers have not been seeing you well, they’ve just been picking the tomatoes stacked above you and before you get a chance to move up, a new batch of tin tomato gets stacked on your head. 

Thank God your expiry date is still very far, na so dem for go throw you inside dustbin.

So when one good looking, God fearing customer comes into Iya Bisi’s store on this fateful day and says she wants your brand of tin tomato and even goes ahead to discuss the tasty jollof rice she plans on making with you, you get really excited.

But on your way home, safely tucked into the black nylon perceiving the uncooked aroma of maggi, cray fish , ata gungun in their separate confinements, it’s possible you begin to wonder if the hot water will not be too hot, if the crayfish and ata gun gun will not blunt your taste laidis, abi who makes jollof with ata gungun sef?,what if you’re not red enough to color the rice well well, orisisisi things will just be coming to your head and you might begin to wonder if the shelf is not a better option by the way.

Well I’m not an old tin tomato on the shelf and thankfully nobody is planning to mix me with ata gungun but I just liked how the whole story kind of helps me say what I want to say

Why should the tin tomato even hesitate to go off the shelf? I mean, after some buyers flat out ignored it and some priced it ridiculously, (“se ko gba 20 naira ni, Iya bisi”), one would have expected that the tin tomato should be overjoyed to be getting hitched with collect jollof finally But I honestly don’t think getting off the shelf is as easy as people think.

So a lot of people assume all women from the age of 5 constantly dream and pine for that day when they will be mercifully taken off the market and be the main tin tomato.

As much as this is true for many women it is not true for all, at least that’s what I think and this is my blog.

One reason for this is that the world has changed from how it used to be, when women needed marriage for validation, provision and security. These days, we are questioning every thing, even the things that are put there for our good. These days women are more independent, make their own money and generally live good lives, so they’ve started asking, what exactly do I need a man for?.

Unless you understand that marriage is primarily designed to serve a purpose greater than either of you, you may fall prey to the plenty feminist talks going on everywhere and altogether shun marriage, yeah.

On one side we have the die-hard feminists clamoring for a no-man world, on the other hand we have the marriage extremists who paint marriage in gory pictures of servitude and seclusion that makes it unappealing to any sane person. There’s a balance somewhere and that should be the goal.

So why is going off the shelf a mixture of emotions for me
I know I’ll miss being single

Mehn, I’ve had the best of times as a single girl and that doesn’t mean it was parté after parté, but you see I’ll miss the sheer indulgence that singleness afforded me.

I could do whatever I wanted at whatever time , make my own plans, set and meet my own deadlines without caring about what the other person is doing and that was really something I thoroughly enjoyed. I’ll miss that! Now its time to be a team player and as much as I look forward to that, I know its not a walk in the park.

Then I figured being off the market means all those that use to come and admire me on the shelf( as per beautiful tomato that I am nah) will just fade out literally.

I mean as a single girl, guys could still show passing interest in you and you may not even mind but yeah, once you’re married you really cannot enjoy male admiration and attention anyhow. You can judge me right here but it’s the truth.

Then, there’s a way being married seems to make you look like you’re old all of a sudden, like you can’t have fun anymore. Just the other day, at an office meeting while we were planning the end of the year party, some of the single people suggested that married people should work on the day of the party since the office still needed to run. Their reason, “they’re married nah, they don’t need to mingle anymore“.

I felt bad for the married folks because I could just see them saying me that way very soon.

I felt like this would soon be my portion and for a brief moment I pictured my partner also having similar thoughts. Now I understand why some men are staying single for longer these days.

Its truly funny how we prayed and fasted for God to send boo and now we’re at the threshold and you’re thinking

But…….

Inspite and despite all these, I would not have it any other way. Meeting and marrying boo is a gift that I really do not deserve and none of these is a good enough reason to not go off the market. (Aye aye boo)

It is my pleasurable destiny to follow this gentleman and be the tin tomato that ultimately changes his jollof rice game.

P.S: Whatever side of the divide you’re on, promise me that you’ll enjoy it well, in the end it is what you make of where you are really.

Don’t ever give in to that lie that those who are married have it better than you or those who are single are better off. It is what it is, A big fat lie.

Xoxo

P.P.S: You’re all invited!